"Hold on Tighter, it isn't about sex its about not falling off." (Chloe Sevigny in HBO's film If These Walls Could Talk 2)

That quote is probably the reason I am as happy as I am. When I was in the 8th grade I was toying with the idea of being a lesbian. As a well boned well muscles rather masculine person, (I live and work on a farm, put two and two together) so that conclusion had already been reached by many people; that may and may not have impacted my development. When I heard that quote in the movie, (I was already kind of crushing over Chloe), it was like a whole new idea had fluttered into my brain. After letting it marinate for a few moments I said to my self 'Oh my god, I totally think I'm Gay!' I kept it a secret between my best friend of 12 years and me until my sophomore year when I started to tell other close friends. I had tried this once before and the human I told decided to tell every stranger she met, but with her being well known for spreading rumors it was not difficult for me to put out that fire to the public. I told a girl of considerable public stature in my small religious high school and she was about as surprised as a rock is when it sinks, she sort of already knew I was different; I dress rather boyish and my voice is kept low for personal preference. I told her I had a crush on her (a still true fact), she smiled gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "Emily, I adore you, but I just don't think I could give you or any woman the love you deserve..." that was probably the nicest let down I could have hoped for. Sense coming out to my friends I have received nothing but love and acceptance by both straight and not so friends. But there were two very important people who were still in the dark.

I Told my dad first, he seemed reserved, but he made clear in early childhood that my life is mine and he will love me no matter what. My mom had a slightly different opinion, I believe her exact words were "Well Duh!" I suppose living with me for 15 years and counting she knew before I did.

I have been out to the family sense march 2003, I am still tragically going on my 16th year of being single but at least those who are important know, and apparently those who aren't important can figure it out for themselves.

a final note: Women are beautiful, remind reserved loved ones that the mind is like a parachute, it only functions when open.