My coming out story is about me making a conscious decision to include those I love and those who love me in my everyday life without having to hide or hedge any events, words, or experiences.

I have a family that I love: two children, two sisters and a brother, and parents. When I fell in love with my "person who happened to be a woman" at the age of 45,(having only been involved with men--a husband of 22 years and various boyfriends), I decided who I was going to tell and the order in which I was going to tell them. I did this because I wanted to include them in my life. I didn't want to feel sneaky. I didn't want to marginalize my relationship. I wanted my girlfriend to be my family and in my family. So I told my sister (on a sunny Sunday in my backyard. Then I told my mother (over lunch at Tavern on the Green in New York City).

Next I took my kids out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis and told them. Everybody I told told someone else with absolute permission from me to share. I welcomed caqllos from people who wanted to talk. I felt sad when people decided to disconnect from me. Two people did not immediately respond in a positive manner: a girlfriend and my ex-husband. I think the girlfriend was nervous about having a lesbian for a friend and not knowing and my ex was just downright nasty. My girlfriend and I worked it out and my ex is an ex for good reason.

At work I am out with my assistant and it feels good to not have to change pronouns when discussing weekend plans, etc.

So that is me. As honest as I want to be and it feels good.