Well, I reckon the funniest one I have took place about a year ago, Xmas 2001, when I came out to a friend back home.

There I was, sitting fiddling, after a pint of beer and two glasses of strong red wine and I decided that then would be a good time to come out.

So, I mumbled through an explanation, muttering about liking girls, and my wonderful companion merely looked at me, raised one eyebrow and filled my wine glass.

Good? Super. Except that last Summer, seven MONTHS after that, we're sitting in a pub, getting drunk, and the following scene takes place.

Her: Um, y'know Joan, a wee birdy was saying that you're not into the fellahs.

Me: Um, of course not. I told you already, move on.

Her: WHEN?!

Me: Wha?

Her: You did NOT tell me! (insert name of random bisexual goth, mutual friend) told me!

Me: I told you at Xmas, in your house.

Her: You did not! I was waiting for you to say something!

Me: And I did!

Her: Did not.

(Repeat ad nauseum)

Me: Maybe I mumbled...

Her: And maybe I was listening to Metallica a bit too much...

Me: But I definitely did!

Her: DID NOT!

Me: Well, I am.

Her: Good. For how long?

Me: Ages, since we were in school.

Her: All those Catholic school girl skirts, eh?

Me: Shut up.

(A long pause, in which I remember many daft incidents involving skirts)

Her: Did you fancy anyone?

ME: Lots of people.

Her: Like who?

Me: Feck off.

(Pause)

Her: Every fancy me?

Me: What? NO! (started giggling insanely) No, you're not my type.

And the bitch hasn't spoken to me since.