I felt as if I was the only girl in the world going through this inner turmoil but reading others thoughts/feelings helps me to feel better and not so alone. For years I had fantasizes about women. I am 29 and have always been with men even loved them...but over the last 10 years I began to have little crushes on other women. I would always dismiss these feelings as pure fantasy.

However recently a good friend of mine that I knew to be gay became the first women I have been with. We have totally fallen in love and I am struggling day to day with what choice I need to make for the future. She has loved me in a way that sets me free and I feel so happy with her. However I know I am still attracted to men also and am torn. Torn between trying to find a man to marry and have children with or be with her for the rest of my life as she wants to "marry me". My biggest problem is I want kids and I know gay couples have them but maybe I have this attitude that you shouldn't. I don't know very confused. Most women I have read on here with kids have been married already, had kids then end up with a woman. I don't want to make the mistake of throwing her love away for what I always thought my future would be like. She means so much to me. Agghhh very confused girl here.

I think I am still in the process of excepting that I may be gay or bi. I am in denial I think. All I know is I love her and she makes me so happy.