Ever since childhood I can remember being such a tomboy. I hated dresses, girl clothes and only played with Barbie's if they were being mixed with GI-Joes.

When I'd play house or dress up with my friends, I'd wear their dads and my dads dress up shirts and my brothers ties. I'd always be the boy in the "made up family-life settings. "

I was always attracted to my woman teachers in school while growing up. Eventually when I got to Junior High I was wearing baggy clothes and looking like a hood. Then once I got into high school my cousin and my mother would badger me about becoming more feminine. So to hide what I knew already who I was, I suddenly lost myself and doing just that-being just a girl. I would turn off and on, from fem. to boyish. Eventually, I would be mastered with all kinds of problems, hiding in the closet, feeling guilty and sick about who I was and trusting in no one, including myself.

So finally a couple months ago, (at my young age of 20 years old) I came out. I came out to both my parents, friends of the family, friends, and a few extended family members. That's as far as I can go right at this point and I'm loving the freedom. My mom now accepts it as well as my father. She doesn't understand why I cut all of my hair off, however, I think I did that to make a statement.

So if you are still afraid to come out, why? People will find out sooner or later. Its best if you confess instead of rumors doing the job for you. Rumors make people haters-confessions paralyze people into thinking before they judge you. They will think, " hmmm... wow, this person really has the guts to come out like that." And then they will look up to you as a stronger person than they are.

Well, my mom did have problems with me being gay. But now that I've badgered her about accepting me, now she understands how I felt when she did that to me just so that I could be her "feminine daughter of an angel."

I always dated guys to hide my inner lesbian joy. I hated it and suffered while I let them use me as a boy toy.

I am, finally, currently in a relationship with this beautiful woman, Jessica. I am deeply in love with her and enjoy making love with her. I am happy and not so tempted to get out of this relationship only because she is a woman this time and not a man, plus she is perfect for me. As soon as I let my mother know this, she understood why I was completely unhappy with my ex-boyfriends.

Because I am most definitely a LESBIAN! Take my advice women: "Love who you love, love who you are! Stand up and be proud of your lesbian inner side and let everyone know! Someday they will understand; if its for you, they'll know you are happy and free to be gay! Stand up!