Meema Spadola puts together a collection of interviews with children of gays and lesbians discussing their honest feelings about their lesbian parents, what they encounter in life and how their parents' sexuality affects them.

Ms. Spadola does not stack the deck with happy faces, and some of these stories are painfully raw. It is obvious some of these children are still struggling with their feelings and resentments at having different families. We even get a taste of some ex-husbands and their influences on the children -- again, not always pretty or amicable.

If you are a lesbian or gay parent, you should watch this documentary with your children. If nothing else, it will give you a place to begin the discussion with your own kids including their experiences and feelings of being different.

AN INTERVIEW WITH MEEMA SPADOLA

Q. When and why did you decide to make this documentary?

A. My mother came out after my parents divorced when I was ten, and for years I was frustrated that there were no stories of families like mine on television or in the movies. For years I've wanted to make a documentary about kids of gay and lesbian parents. Most folks in the queer community know that gay families are in every community around the country, but there's so little awareness and acceptance, that's it's crucial to make our families more visible to a wider public.

And I'd especially love for kids of gay and lesbian parents around the country to be able to turn on the TV and see some part of their lives reflected in this documentary. ITVS (Independent Television Service) -- the funding organization-- has a mandate to fund programs that address the needs of under-served audiences, so it was a perfect fit for this project.

Q. How did you go about finding families to participate?

A. I wanted to represent the diversity of our community-- racial, ethnic, geographic, socio-economic, religious, not to mention showing gay dads and lesbian moms, adoption, donor insemination, previously married parents. We put the word out through COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) - a terrific organization run by and for kids of LGBT parents. We also did outreach through churches, gay and lesbian community centers, and advocacy organizations nation-wide. We received almost 300 responses. I talked with lots of kids, visited with a couple dozen families, and finally chose five families. There were so many wonderful families, it was incredibly difficult to narrow it down to only five.

Q. Did you have a favorite segment/family?

A. I could never choose one favorite! There are plenty of moments that I love because they're so telling. For example, when Daniel (on Long Island) says "It would be so much better if everybody that asked me would be in one big room and I'd tell them and after that I wouldn't have to say it once more. I'd be free for the whole rest of my life not answering them anymore." He's so sick of being put under a microscope by everyone. I also loved it when Saveon (the younger brother in NJ) took my camera and interviewed his older brother-- he was pretty pushy, trying to get his brother to answer the questions that had yielded only monosyllabic answers for me. I also think the scene between Cade (the older daughter in NYC) and one of her moms is great-- they're arguing over Cade's new haircut and freedom rings-- both of them lesbians, but with this generational split between them. It's so incredibly typical of moms and daughters.

Q. Were you surprised by anything while you were filming?

A. I was really surprised by the diversity of the families I met. I knew on an intellectual level that there was a tremendous variety of families, but meeting kids who had grown up in gay households, who were hooked into the community of LGBT families was so exciting and surprising. I wish I had been aware of that community when I was a kid. Sadly, too many kids are isolated, so (at the risk of sounding grandiose) my hope is that OUR HOUSE can serve as a community builder, and show people that our families truly are everywhere.

Q. Did you have to "cut" any families?

A. No. Chalk that up to very careful pre-interviews!

Q. What do you hope that your audience will take away from the completed documentary?

A. There's very little understanding of the lives of children of gay and lesbian parents, and there's a lot of judgmental attitudes out there. That's what creates problems for these kids-- there's nothing inherently problematic about having gay or lesbian parents. I think that people who watch OUR HOUSE will see five very normal families, who are facing the same ups and downs of being a family, along with dealing with the extra pressure of homophobia. I hope viewers will understand that gay families come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and live in every community in this country. I hope they'll listen hard to what these sons and daughters have to say. And maybe it'll open some eyes and change some minds, but I'm sure it'll start some interesting discussions in living rooms around the country.