It is that time of year again. Everyone will be going home for the holidays. But for lesbians, the question of whose home are we going holds many more side issues than straight couples face. Are we going to your family or mine? Or both? Or do we say the hell with it and stay at our home instead? No wonder they say it is the most stressful time of the year!

When you were single, it was easy. Holidays rolled around and you headed back to the family manse to be embraced by loved ones who had known you your whole life. There was not any question where you were going. And you could count on being asked when you were going to settle down at least three hundred times over the holidays. Life was certainly easy then.

Then you acquire a mate. You are living with the woman of your dreams -- the woman to whom you plan to spend the rest of your life. If you are lucky, both families accept and love you both, just as they do your heterosexual siblings. Did I say lucky? Well, lucky until the holidays roll around.

How often do both families live close enough that you can see both during the holidays? Now THAT would be lucky and that could be the end of your problems. For the usual couple, the families live hundreds or thousands of miles apart from each other. How do you decide where to go for the holidays? Both families want to see you -- how do you decide?

There is the reasonable choice -- take turns doing holidays with each of them. This works until there is a special reason, i.e. none of her siblings will be making it to mom and dad, and so they will be alone this year. Or the day after the holiday is your parent's 50th wedding anniversary (not to mention her brother's birthday).

Just when you have it worked out with the parents, the two of you decide to have a baby... At that point, all bets are off and you are starting from scratch.

So... where will you spend the holidays?

Happy Holidays...

Until next time...