I often receive private email from women who are frightened by their first stirrings of attraction for another woman. Sometimes I read the same lines from women who post in the public forums. -- How do I know if I'm a lesbian? -- And I remember feeling that same confusion -- completely lost as to what to do to unearth the real me.
I am very confused about my sexuality as I am sure a lot of you were at one time. I can not figure out if I am gay or not! I think I am, but I am scared to admit it. I am scared to make it final or something.
-- A Member of the Lesbian Worlds Forums
So I have put together some suggestions here, which if taken with an open mind, should at least give you an idea as to what you are feeling, and what direction can best help you.
- Lesbian Worlds Forums
- Many women who are beginning the process of coming out to themselves and are regulars in these forums. It is a great place to get support and to help get some clarification for feelings and past actions. Getting support online is probably one of the least intimidating actions and I highly recommend it for those first steps.
- Lesbian Worlds Coming Out
- There are a number of articles offered in Lesbian Worlds that have been designed to help you clarify your thoughts and feelings; as well as a
compilation of information and resources to assist you in coming to terms with your questions. Because personal coming out stories are a wonderful source of inspiration and comfort, I strongly recommend reading those available here, as well as those posted in the site forum.
- Not just for family and friends of LGBT folks - they also offer support meetings for women who are just beginning to explore their sexual orientation. A great place to become comfortable with other lesbians and bisexual women. PFLAG is not as intimidating a place as a formal LGBT Center. There are many local PFLAG groups, so even if you live in a small town, check for a listing in your area.
- Religious Involvement
- Many of us have a spiritual base which we now need to reconcile with our new found knowledge of our sexual orientation. Sadly, without further investigation, we often assume that our faith condemns us without understanding the deeper issues that others have explored. Before walking away from your religious beliefs, explore these groups to see if there is perhaps one which fits your needs.
The initial question can be frightening, but the lack of knowledge on where to begin the search can be paralyzing. Remember to take the journey one step at a time. You do not need to address the issue of coming out to another, or political aspects or anything else which seems to vie for the spotlight at any given moment. This is your life. It is a question to which only you hold the answer.
Until next time...